sha and decisions...
Monday, January 29, 2007
What is there between people and their decisions?
So weird… In a critical second we decide and the effect lingers around us so long that it will have effect for a very, very long time.
How can we actually have the courage to actually make each decision in our life? If I look back, there are so many decisions that I have made. From what kind of attire to wear right up to where I went to school.
There are:
Decision of actually choosing the life you are living
Decision to let you loved by somebody
Decision to let you be trusted by someone
Decision to make each step and heads to a place
Decision to laugh at each joke anyone cracks
Decision to let someone knows your secret
Decision to join a pack of people or left them at peace
Funny I actually never spent a minute more to decide on big things such as university, workplace but I spend an eternity in deciding trivial little details, whether this colour match with that colour, whether this shoes match with that shirt, whether I should join the crowd or not...
Is it because I never get to decide on major things that influenced my life, I’ve become a person who actually prefer to spent her whole life to think about minor little things?
Author: sicksockhead » Comments:
sha is in fury...
Sunday, January 28, 2007
I have been really quiet lately. I talk when I feel like to talk. And when I am quiet, I don’t exactly know what my brain was doing at that time. Well, people mostly say that when you are quiet, you are actually doing some thinking in between. The problem is I am not sure that I even think in betweens. I frequently dozed off in a middle of conversations. My threshold of hearing people and concentrate on what they are talking is so low right now that I even lost them at their first syllable of words. I like to submerge myself in my own thoughts. And when I talk, I talk foolishly. I talk like an old lady rumbling when she is high on morphine or something. I hate myself right now. Better get a hold of myself before I lose my mind. I think I am becoming a person who is utterly not me. I hate everything right now. I hate that I have to stay with my parents (which amazingly I like it at the same time). I hate that I have to travel by bus everyday (which is actually I hate to admit, the most convenient way to the office). I hate making new friends (I know I will forget them as soon as I know them). I hate to talk (no point of talking when you don’t really mean it). I just hate the idea of me actually beginning to like everything that I hate. How strange is that? Probably because I hate almost everything that now I am learning to cope by liking each of my resentments.
*And I hate people who advise me to grow up. Who do they think they are? Mahatma Ghandi? I am so pissed right now. I am now admitting publicly that I can’t tolerate any criticisms but given time I might probably re-think about them anyways. This is normal right?
Author: sicksockhead » Comments:
Sha and new look...
I’ve finally change my layout (like for the trillionth time).. And now I am going to go to sleep…
* don’t complain on the font size.. it is not small.. if you can read this.. means it’s big enough for you all to see and read what I wrote..
Author: sicksockhead » Comments:
sha and her new found energy source..
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
now i can sleep late.. thnx to streamyx.. I know the enthusiasm will wear off.. sooner or later.. might as well enjoy it now.. today I’ve discovered that my cat is not afraid of cars.. and that worries me coz.. he will think that the road is a safe place to lie down and a car is just another friend who comes to visit (at high velocity).. I wish I could be that daft and just lay staring into the sky… and a friend is coming for a visit.. fearless..
*it is better sometime to be clueless..Author: sicksockhead » Comments:
sha and the round earth..
Monday, January 15, 2007
Feels like shit when you have to wake up at 5 every morning (except for weekends of course). Then when you have to take the bus to work.. it really makes you feel like throwing yourself over the edge and rhetorically speaking.. I hate working days!!!
What happened when you have so many things to do…??
Me… I planned it all out.. then.. I let it run on its own course… The plan runs on its own?
Nope. I was kinda hoping that the work will actually finish on its own without me interfering in it.. that is what I mean by ‘I let it run on its own course’..
I want to be an organize lady and yet I always failed half way.. I am miss halfway I guess.. it is bestowed upon me I am queen of halfway, that’s sound even better. Well, I am no good in organizing things wholeheartedly. That is the thing I’ve discovered thru my 2 months of working.
I have a hobby. I love to look at people especially when I’m having lunch at 2nd floor. I look, I have a mere seconds of observation and an eternity to judge, admire and criticize them at the same time. And I am always aware of other people who have the same hobby. I know. I know. I am being scrutinized all the same by them too. It is a round world, earth is round. It comes back to us again. It's funny to think how do world works.
*I’ve watched Blood Diamond… Please buy Conflict Free Diamonds!!!! Tiffany and Bvlgari are rocking Conflict Free Diamonds..
Author: sicksockhead » Comments:
What is there between people and their decisions?
